Things I Wish I Knew: Before Buying a House

As of this week we have been living in our new home for four full months. These have been the craziest few months with finally getting settled into our home. Each day this place feels more and more like home. However, it didn't always feel so nice and cozy. The first week we lived here it felt like we were squatters, or staying at an airbnb. I kept waiting for the real owners of the house to walk through the door. Now that we've semi settled in a bit more, and the trauma of our house buying experience is slowly fading away (yes, I'm being dramatic - but am I really though?) I thought it would be the perfect time to reflect, and write out a few things I wish I knew before buying a house. Just throwing this out there now, this is all based on my own personal experience - there is no research in here, just what happened with us and how I wish things may have gone differently.

1. Real Life is Not Like HGTV

I know, I know, I shouldn't have expected my house buying experience to be anything like HGTV. In my defense, I didn't think that buying a house compared to HGTV (home and garden channel on TV) would be like comparing finding a boyfriend to the Bachelor. COMPLETE OPPOSITES. I was bamboozled so many times I can't even count. Let's try to break this down though into the extreme lies told by TV:

- You will not be accepted on the first house you put an offer in on. Ok you could be, but that's some damn good luck. We put in offers on at least six different homes before we were finally accepted. All these years I thought I would go in and look at 3-4 houses that my Realestate agent would find for me, and then I would point my finger to the one I wanted and boom, done. Ugh, I shake my head so hard at how naive I was.

- Along with the statement above: more than likely it will not be 1 other person bidding on the house against you. If I ever watched an episode of house hunters (or some other house buying show on HGTV) if the couple didn't immediately get the house they wanted it was because 1 other person had bid on it, so they would counter offer. Again: boom, done problem solved - one counter offer and the house was theres. NOT HOW IT WORKS. On every single house we put an offer in on, whether 1 other family made an offer or 10+ families made offers, the house immediately went to highest and best within 2 days of being on the market or the open house. It was torture. We would sit there thinking up our highest amount, best offer for hours. So many times we truly thought the house would be ours, and so many times were we let down.

Moral of the story here is, be patient and ask other current home owners what their experience was like. Yes, current, because unfortunately buying a house is nothing like it was for our parents. You can only base your expectations off of knowledge and experience from those around: the more stories and advice you get the better level headed you can remain throughout the process. However, just because ___ happened to your friends doesn't mean it will happen to you.

2. Do Your Research on Loans

We were fortunate to be able to use Veterans United home loans based on Gabriel's military service. We honestly don't regret this choice. With Veterans United we were able to purchase a home with a 0% down payment. However, this was not all rainbows and sunshine because honestly no one wanted to work with Veterans Unites. I'm really not being dramatic here. Apparently a lot of real estate companies are not experienced in working the this type of a home loan and it is not considered "conventional" so most people selling a home run away when they see Veterans United. We started to suspect this is what was happening to us when we were denied so many times. Yes, there was always at least 1 other family bidding on the same house, however a few times we found out what the winning bid was and it either matched our offer or one time it was worse. What killed us so many times was that we would be putting 0% down on the house. Great for us, apparently not so great for the person selling the house. This 0% down painted a picture of Gabriel and I to the sellers saying that IF the home didn't appraise for what the sold price was, that more than likely Gabriel and I couldn't afford the difference and would forfeit the house. Which wasn't necessarily true, we just thought why would we put money down, when we don't have to? We are currently saving money for a new car and to hopefully start a family in this house. Also lets be honest, if we would put "20% down" it would be between $30,000-$50,000 down depending on which house we would have purchased for the area we live in. This brings me to the point of number 2 though.

Do your research! We didn't necessarily need to worry about a down payment, however I know so many friends and family that have been putting off buying a home due to the down payment. There are actually quite a few loan providers though that have great programs for first time home buyers where the percent down is usually 10% or below. It's also good to research what your interest rate will be and don't be afraid to get competitive. Deciding on a home loan should be a lot like deciding on which car to buy: do you want something with low miles and high safety ratings or just the cheapest option? Also, don't be afraid to get on the phone and talk to people. No question is a stupid question. Mortgage companies work with new and experienced home buyers all the time, I'm sure they've answer your same questions a hundred times already this week alone. Its better to ask a million questions and feel secure in your decision rather than stay quiet and confused.

3. Know the Difference Between a "Wish List" and "Must Have List"

Making a list of your top 10 must haves is great! However, you also need to make a list of your most realist must haves. Would I have loved a huge updated kitchen? Obviously. Did I get? Absolutely not. But I also didn't walk away from this house because of it. It's ok to be picky about what you want in your home, especially if you have the budget for it. Just know that at the end of the day your mortgage payment will reflect just how many wishes of yours came true.

For example, here's some of my "wish list" items vs. "must have" items:

- Backyard big enough for a pool and grass space vs. backyard big enough for our dogs and future family.

- Brand new stainless steel appliances vs. appliances that work, aren't disgusting and come with the house purchase.

- Newly renovated kitchen and bathroom vs. a big enough space, that might not be updated but we can surely work with it in the future.

There were definitely some wish list items we had that didn't come with this house like an already fenced in yard, a two car garage, front porch. However, minus the two car garage, with the amount of house and surrounding land we have we can definitely make our wish list items come true - it just won't happen within the first year of living here and that's perfectly ok.If we had let those wish list items dictate buying this house or not, we would have missed out on the best home possible for our family, and could still possibly be out house hunting today. It's also nice to get out there and visit some open houses before you're serious about buying a home. Get an idea of what you like, don't like, and couldn't live without. This will help save you time when you're truly ready to buy a house. We were able to do a single walk through of a house and immediately know if we wanted to put an offer in or not because we had already seen so many houses in our area and had a good idea of what other possible homes we'd be working with. Unfortunately sometimes the housing market moves incredibly quickly, you don't want to view a house on Saturday then spend two weeks debating on making an offer or not. Get your lists together, get out there and see some homes in person. The "1,000 square feet living space" you want on paper might not be enough space in person; always keep your wish list and must have list up to date.

4. Plan Your Timeline Ahead of Time

Even if you're not planning on buying a home anytime soon, you should probably still be planning out buying a home. At least in a sense of when does your lease end, when that lease ends do you want to re-lease, move to another rental property or move into a home with a mortgage? Then from there back track your plans. Finding the right home, finding the right mortgage company, and THEN getting your home offer accepted takes a lot of time. For instance here's how our timeline played out:

May - August: we were actively attending open houses and private showings for homes.

August 4th: We toured our current home and put in an offer

August 7th: House went highest and best offer, a few days later we heard that we were selected and were on the road to home ownership!

August 15th: Home Inspection took place.

Sometime between August 15th - September 15th was our home appraisal.

September 27th: We signed on our home and painted the walls that weekend

October 5th: We officially moved into our home.

October 15th: Handed our apartment keys back to management.

This was a long process, filled with very little sleep and constantly having to find documentation for our home loan agency, planning with our apartment complex and realtor; it was a mess. PLUS it was my busiest season at work with tons of mandatory overtime. However, our lease ended in November and we wanted to be out and living in a home by Thanksgiving. This meant we needed to plan a few months ahead in order to properly go through home inspections, appraisals, etc. Don't wait until the month your apartment lease ends to start house hunting, it will not end well!

On top of that, know the right time to a buy house for your area. If there's no real timeline for moving out of your current situation then take advantage of the opportunity to buy a home during the fall, winter or early spring. For our specific area everyone was selling and buying homes from May-September, it was pure madness. This was because everyone wants to move during the summer, school is out and it's the perfect time to switch school districts for kids, change jobs, and you don't need to worry about weather. This caused so many issues for us though, it was the hunger games for home buying. A house would go up on a realtor app on Monday stating "no showings until the open house on Saturday," well someone apparently always had the friends and family hook up, because come Wednesday the house would be off the market/sold before the open house even happened. Or the same day as an open house took place the listing would immediately go highest and best offer by midnight tonight and you were always bidding against at least 10 other families. ABSOLUTELY NUTS. Please, plan out your timeline and take advantage of when it's a buyer's market and a slower season. There will always be homes for sale, it's just a matter of how many other people are actively trying to buy a home the same time as you.

5. Do Not Give Up, Do Not Settle

We made offers on at least six homes, before getting this one and I am forever thankful that none of those offers went through. Sure, they were good houses however near the end of our house hunt we started getting desperate - just as that's not a good look in dating, it's not a good look in finding your future home. We started talking about putting offers in on smaller homes, maybe town homes, maybe this or that. We started looking at homes online that were out of our price range or out of the main area we wanted to live in. It was exhausting, but I'm very grateful that we were finally blessed with the home that we now have, and that those other offers of desperation did not go through.

Do not settle, the perfect home is out there for you. It may not be perfect the first time you walk through the doors, but eventually it will come together. Something that was so important to us was space. We needed, not necessarily an open concept living space but just a lot of space for our two big dogs and for future children. Many of the houses we original looked at had small living rooms, no dining rooms, and no additional living spaces like a basement or family room. Would we have made it work living there, absolutely. However, it just wasn't really the house for us. Now we have so much space we don't know what to do with it. But I'd rather have excess space now, while we are attempting to grow our family, rather than five years down the road needing to move again because we don't have enough bedrooms or space. It's ok to question paint colors, or carpet vs. hard wood flooring, but don't question yourself on space, cost, or location. If it doesn't feel right to you, go with your gut and don't even put an offer in. Once you put an offer in, yes you can take it back, but why would you want to put yourself through that heart ache and anxiety when you knew the second you walked through the door that it wasn't right for you?

I also want to add here, know your budget and don't settle or get pushed around on price. Every single home we made an offer in on went highest and best, it was something that was never fun to deal with and made us question everything. If the house was listed at ___ why would we want to make an offer $10,000 more just to beat out other people? It was listed for ___ so it should sell for that, right? We looked at houses ranging from 3-5 possible bedrooms, 1-3 bathrooms, big backyards and small backyards, updated kitchens and disgusting kitchens, less than 1,000 square feet and over 2,000 square feet. No matter how nice or disgusting a house in the list of possibilities above they ALL feel into our price range. DO NOT SETTLE if it's not really what you want. You wouldn't marry someone you had doubts about, so why get stuck into a 30 year mortgage with a house you're doubting?

6. Save, Save, Save

Save up as much money as you possibly can. There are ALWAYS surprise fees, and no matter how many times you think you've calculated everything down to a science for your house buying process there will always be something you didn't think of. Closing cost is a huge part of this. Some people manage to negotiate 0 closing costs, but during that extreme season of buying homes we eventually felt the need to offer 50% closing cost rather than try and sneak away paying nothing (again, like I said above, don't settle...). I punched the numbers so many times I lost track, however nothing quite prepares you for that final number. No website or app can truly calculate what you will pay in closing costs accurately, so do yourself a favor and save another 1-2 thousand dollars just to be safe. That home inspection you had? It cost money. That appraisal you had done? It cost money. The title to your home? It cost money. Are these things crazy expensive? No, not really but they all add up especially because they all happen within 2-3 weeks of each other and are not tied into your mortgage or closing costs. I would also recommend, don't make any crazy purchases (unless you really have the money for it) in the first month or so of being in your new home. It's nice to sit back and wait, see what your monthly expenses are truly like. Maybe you didn't expect the electric or oil cost to be so much, but then you have that extra money saved up to cover those bigger bills you weren't expecting rather than a brand new refrigerator with no electricity for it.

Also, be honest about your finances if you're purchasing a home with someone else. Don't beat around the bush or leave anything out. Be upfront about how much you're making monthly/yearly, what debt you have and what your individual monthly expenses are such as student loans, car payments, etc. If you keep that from your partner all you're going to do is your hurt yourself in the long run when your mortgage payment is due, and surprise your income calculation was off by $300+. No, this didn't happen with us but it very easily could happen if you're not in a comfortable place yet in your relationship to discuss finances. Discuss them, save together and be cheap for a few months - it will all help you out in the long run.

Buying a house, especially your first is always a scary process. It is exhausting and stressful no matter how prepared you think you are for it. Relax, more than likely you have a 20-30 year mortgage on your home. You have time to renovate and make this your dream home. Enjoy the present, be in the moment and take tons of pictures - you'll want to be able to look back and remember just how far both you and your home have come.